Is he just a flirty-girty?

There are some sixteen men living in the Twilight Zone and fifty “odd” women. Most of the men are not in as good shape as their female counterparts. Several men are in wheelchairs, like Ralph, three have their wives with them, one is a known lecher, one hits the bottle regularly, and several are pretty vacant upstairs. This leaves slim pickings for any lady Zoner who might have an eye out for romance.

Obviously, Peggy is one such woman, first latching onto Fred, whom everyone else thought unattractive, and then Cass, who is attractive. Only she told Tillie the other day that Cass suffers from E.D. Tillie told this to Nora, after first cautioning Nora that Peggy had told her “not to tell anyone.”

“Oh, I won’t,” Nora promised. “It’s down the well.” (That well is getting pretty filled up.)

Only she thought Tillie said Cass suffered from V.D. “Hmm,” she said, “that must date back some years. Really, does he?”

“Yes, according to Peggy, but he’s going to take some medicine for it,” Tillie said.

“Golly, wonder where he got it. In service?”

“What are we talking about?” Tillie asked.

“I think we’ve had this conversation before,” Nora said. “It’s either my ears or your speech. You said Cass has V.D.”

“No, E.D.”

“E.D.? Oh, erectile dysfunction.”

“Yes,” Tillie said.

“Well, for heavens sakes, he’s like seventy-five, besides being diabetic. What does Peggy expect? She’s got to be the horniest old gal I’ve ever heard of.”

“Yes, isn’t it wonderful,” Tillie said, her eyes gleaming.

“Hmph,” Nora said. She couldn’t quite picture Cass and Peggy… She didn’t want to go there.

“You are such an old bluenose,” Tillie said.

Nora sighed the “silent sway-back sigh,” as her kids used to call it, which meant her martyrish reaction to their transgressions. Privately, however, she was trying to reconcile Cass’ recent attentions to her and this news from Tillie. When told of Cass’ gifts on her doorstep, the éclair and banana, her daughter Anne had said “How phallic!”

The old coot! E.T. gifts?

She wished Tillie had not told her this “secret.” She definitely would not pass it on to anyone. Some things needed to stay in the well.

And she didn’t think Cass’ gifts were phallic. Else she wouldn’t have eaten them.